3 little words
by duckmadgirl
Summary: sometimes all you need is to hear those 3 little words.
1. Chapter 1

Kate stood on the side of the dock watching the crew load the supplies on to the RHIBS to take back to the ship. Listening in to her radio.

"Sir Our orders to sail have come through for 11:30 hours" she smiled walking towards him

"thanks X." He smiled "how was breakfast?" he asked knowing she had leave first thing and left the ship just after sun rise.

"it was great. Dutchy found this great little place round the bay" she smiled walking off up the pontoon.

"X, I've got you something" Dutchy Smiled handing her a package

"what is it?" she smiled taking it

"its a Surprise" he watched as Kate shook the little package before tearing in to the paper it was wrapped in revealing a

Mike turned his attentions back to Swain and the harbour master who was agreeing their departure time. His attentions were drawn to the other side of the marina where a couple were arguing about sounded like a normal holiday argument between couples some one had forgot to pack something and it was the others fault. Shaking his head he smiled.

A passing yacht and the wind were causing the pontoons to bob up and down in the waves causing the pushchair that was on the dock to fall in too the water.

"my baby my baby" The woman screamed and the man she was with jumped down in to the water being carried by the ripples and the current in the water. Hearing the commotion Kate turned to see mike swan dive in to the water swimming over to the pushchair, and Swain with Dutchy run along to assist from dry land. Sighing why did they both have to be or try and be action heroes.

Mike reached the pushchair with in a matter of minutes. With the help of swain and dutchy they lifted the pushchair back on to the dock and thankfully the little boy that had been strapped in was unharmed. His mother pulled him out cradling him close.

"thank you. Thank you" she cried

"help me I cant swim" the man called struggling to stay afloat with the waves

Swimming over mike struggled to get to the man and was pushed under by him. Eventually mike managed to get round under his arms dragging him towards the shore.

"Boss here Boss grab the ring" Dutchy threw a life ring in to the water.

Grabbing the ring mike pulled it round handing it to the man and dutchy and Swain pulled them both to the shore. Pulling the man out first he fell to the dock then they pulled mike to the dock. Lying down for a few seconds to catch his breath he was soon pulled in to a hug by the man

"my name Anton Gorski I owe you my life and the life of my son"

Smiling Kate boarded the RHIB heading back to the ship turning she saw the other one following behind. Stepping down on to the boat deck she smiled as Mike walked past

"So superman..." she grinned eyes glinting

"X!" he warned

"Sir" she tried to keep a straight face but a smile was twitching from the corner of her mouth

"make ready to depart. I will be in my cabin, I need a shower and to put on a dry uniform." He ordered equally trying not to laugh

"yes sir" she called watching as he walked inside, before following heading on to the bridge

20 minutes later Mike walked on to the bridge to cheers

"alright you have had your fun" he laughed

Kate looked over despite what he had said he was enjoying this a little too much

" lap it up boss you deserve it" swain turned from the controls looking over at mike

"and everyone on this ship would have done the exact same" mike looked at his crew

"huh" Kate feigned a cough. Everyone was a strong word, may be 90% of the crew would.

It was a eventful morning they hadn't been sailing long when a pan-pan call came through. It wasnt urgent but did need dealing with. Things in these waters could change in a heartbeat. It was RO that was listening to it and he was his usual dismissive self. Then they were also interrupted by a call from Commander White at NAVCOM.

"put it through to my Cabin. X you have the ship" Mike slid from the captains chair allowing Kate to sit back there.

10 minuets later Kate walked down from the bridge right in to mike who had just left his cabin.

"Sir we are coming up on the oceanographic vessel now" she smiled. Leaning against the wall of the stair well she looked in to his eyes. "so what did knocker want. She hear about your heroic exploits?" she grinned

Half laughing he smiled "ah no. She was banging on about Hammersley's replacement CO"

"have they found anyone yet" she smiled her eyes filled with hope

"they sent a list but no one was suitable. I wouldn't let them command a tug boat let a loan a war ship. Anyway pipe boarding stations X" he walked towards the galley.

After boarding the survey vessel, it was clear to see that the master was pissed out of his skull he was struggling to keep his balance despite the swell being non existent. He had seen a boat of some sort toss something over board. When he arrived to survey the area it was a very suspicious dead body shaped thing.

Despite being a very brief description of the suspect vessel that could match half the boats that were on the water they began searching to see what they could find. There was only one boat in the area 9 nautical miles from their position. It was highly unlikely to be of interest who sticks around after committing a crime but there was no harm in looking. Or training as mike put it.

Everything looked in order with the manifest but they were fishing and had no fish on board. Something was telling Kate this was dodgy but they couldn't just operate based on gut feeling they needed hard evidence.

Heading back over to Hammersley they discovered the dead man they pulled from the water that morning was a known drug dealer and had links to the master of the boat the had just boarded. Staying just below the horizon they shadowed the fishing boat keeping out of sight.

Kate sat on the bridge yawning slightly shaking her head trying to stay awake.

"why don't you go get some sleep" mike leaned in to her . "Feds wont be here till the morning its just a matter of shadowing"

"i'll be fine sir" she smiled

"okay" he smiled sitting back in his chair

Things went wrong fast after that. After re boarding the suspect vessel as they witnessed a suspect pallet being loading from one vessel. After investigating it turned out to be a reel of cable. The Feds were none too happy as they alerted the master to being of interest

"X can you grab the EOD tapes from my cabin please" mike smiled talking to the Federal officer

Kate headed back to Hammersley and found the tapes on his desk. She also spotted a sheet of paper headed with 'replacement CO Hammersley' curiosity got the better of her and she picked it up. Seeing her name right at the top she recalled what mike had said about the list yesterday and that he wouldn't trust them with a tug boat. Holding back the tears she headed back to mike handing him the tapes. Shutting out everything out she needed to change. She had commanded Hammersley before after he had been wounded in Samaru, he had just kicked her in the teeth and hurt her more than ever. She needed to get off Hammersley and put her carer back on track. If she had left Hammersley when she was suppose to then she could be on a big ship rising the ranks but she was stuck on Hammersley. She wanted a transfer and to put her career back on track and her dream of being Chief of Navy.

Sitting at her desk in her cabin Kate staired at the screen of her laptop hitting at the keys furiously, typing up her transfer request. Mike gently tapped at the door with his foot as he was holding 2 mugs.

"what you typing" he asked curiously

"a transfer request. I have had enough I want off this ship" she said furiously

"what? Why" he asked he thought they were working well together. Yes NAVCOM had put a huge bump in the road but she had been okay with that

"as if you didn't know" she hissed slamming the lid of the laptop down barging past him. She needed to escape before she said something she regretted although her mind was full of things she wanted to say and happen to him. Standing out on deck she felt the cooling breeze blow against her face. she had shore leave so she would head in to town and forget about him.

Sitting in the hotel bar as it was the only decent bar around she could see the crew larking around out of the corner of her eye. Pulling her phone out of her bag she saw mikes number flash on screen indicating he was calling her. Crying in frustration she rejected the call stuffing her phone in the bag hoping it wouldn't have a signel.

"hey" a voice towering above her called

"Hey" she smiled looking up seeing Dutchy standing before her

"you coming for a drink?" he asked

"I don't think I will be much company tonight" she said

"whys that?" duchy asked Kate was a friend and she was clearly bothered with something

"I've decided to transfer off the ship" she stated

"why?" he asked

"bigger and better opportunities on a big ship"

"personal or professional" he asked he did like her but she clearly only saw him as a friend and everyone knew how much Kate liked mike anyone with half a brain cell could see she loved him. "come on one drink" he held out his hand to her

"fine" she relented "one drink" she took his hand allowing him to pull her to her feet.

Sitting round the table more than one drink in they all began questioning when a phone began buzzing loudly all denning it was there's.

Reaching in to her bag Kate saw once again it was mikes number flashing on the screen , this didn't go unnoticed by Dutchy. Rejecting the call Kate stuffed it back in her bag. She didn't want to speak to him and if this was going to be the last time she was out with the Hammersley crew whom she had come to love as family then she wanted to enjoy her self. She couldn't be dealing with mike and him begging her to stay not after what he had said.

**so if you haven't guessed this is set in the episode in too deep. (4.16) the first 2 chapters will be on this episode then after will be what happened next leading up to season 5. hope you enjoy **


	2. Chapter 2

When Kate awoke the following morning she was feeling slightly better about everything and that maybe she had over reacted, just a little. there was more than likely a good explanation. Standing outside his cabin she knocked on the door waiting for a answer.

"Oh Ma'am we're ready to sail" Ro poked his head round the corner. "we just have one problem."

Rubbing her temples she sighed this was the last thing she wanted to hear. "what is it?"

"No CO. No one has seen him all morning. The peg board shows he is off the ship and he is not answering his phone"

Pushing the door to his cabin open she looked around. Everything was neat as a pin and his rack didn't look like it had been slept in.

"oh no" she closed her eyes pulling her phone. Her mind flashed back to when she rejected all his calls the previous night. She knew he had gone out, what if something had happened to him. Flipping her phone up

"he wont answer it keeps going to voicemail I've left 3 already" RO called

"RO" she waved her hand at him indicating that she wanted him to shut up so she could hear what was being said

Listening to the voice messages that he had left. It was hard to make out. He was on Masons boat and Cavanaugh; the drug dealer from earlier, he wanted to hire masons boat to find a sub he had lost.

He was so stupid diving in to danger, they already had found one body that was linked to Cavanaugh and he just walked in to the middle of it. Putting her phone in her pocket she turned on her heal unsure what to do. She needed to talk to NAVCOM and the harbour master to see if masons boat was still in port.

"come with me" she looked at RO heading up to the bridge.

After speaking with the harbour master, who confirmed that Masons boat left port before midnight almost 8 hours previously. Thankfully with what mike had said why Masons boat was needed they had a good idea on the heading but even that was a guess.

"RO get me NAVCOM on the line and Dutchy get ready to take the ship" Kate called sitting in mikes chair.

"yes Ma'am" both men called.

Kate headed down to the com centre waiting for the call to NAVCOM to be patched through.

"Lieutenant McGregor whats going on?" Maxine asked.

"Ma'am Commander Flynn has gone missing. We believe that he is being held on a boat called the Jeanette J"

"well what was he doing?" Maxine asked. Kate could hear the frustration in her voice.

"I don't know Ma'am. I missed his calls last night and picked up a voicemail this morning he was saying something about a mini sub and Derek Cavanagh was involved"

"right well I will get on to the Feds and get coastwatch to survey the area I will also inform fleet command. You are acting CO of Hammersley" Maxine replied with a tone of annoyance in her voice but she was on mikes list so it would give her a chance to prove her self.

"ma'am" Kate hung up. She headed back on to the bridge. She was looking at the search area. Thankfully it was quite narrow but it was extremely long. Looking up from the chart.

"RO anything from coastwatch" she called

"no ma'am" Ro called shaking his head

2-dads jogged on to the bridge. "X sonar buoys are deployed" he called ,

"very good" Kate called turning to wards RO to give orders

"already on it ma'am" he pulled on a head set listening hard

"if they are using masons boat to find this sub then they will be emitting a signel or something. I want as many ears as we can spare listing for it" Kate called keeping her eyes forward

Dutchy walked over seeing that Kate was struggling with everything. Weather it was the struggle with being CO or mike being missing, his guess would have been the latter.

"we will find him" he whispered hoping he was convincing

"this is all my fault" she whispered not taking her eyes off the vast waters ahead of her

"its no ones fault. We all..." he paused

"no I deliberately dropped his calls last night." She tried not to cry.

"why would you do that" he asked. Yeah they fought like a old married couple and it was usually best to be on a different deck or cabin when they did but they made up in the end. When mike came round to her way of thinking. He hadn't realised it was mike calling last night usually when his name was mentioned her face would light up like a Christmas tree.

She turned to look at him eyes reading his thoughts " I...umm" she paused she couldn't tell the truth but did he already know something,

They were interrupted by Charge announcing he could hear a faint signel of some kind. Then RO joined in saying he could hear it aswell. It was a fair distance away but it was something to head to the were fast running out of time. Homering in on it they followed it until they lost signel which must have meant what ever was being searched for had been found.

"hold our course to the last known position" Kate called turning her eyes back to the seas. She just hoped that they would get there in time.

The signel reappeared as fast as it disappeared. "Keep on it RO and don't loose it" Kate called. Inside she was smiling, it was mike that switched the signel back on. He was still alive she knew it.

"i've got a contact" dutchy called from the radar. "bearing 0-3-0 range 14 miles" he called

"do we have it on EOD?" she asked looking at 2-dads then looking at the screen. "that's masons boat. Plot a course to intercept, swain pipe boarding stations" she called pulling her binoculars from round her neck heading to the stairs

"X where are you going?" Charge asked catching her arm

"to lead the boarding" she stated she was the boarding officer and it was part of her job

"Ma'am your acting CO, you cant leave the ship" charge stated

"I umm " Kate stammered she needed to go.

"i'll go" he squeezed her shoulder. Mike meant a lot to them all but he knew he meant more to Kate he had seen it form the moment she first came aboard.

She watched as the RIHB bounce across the waves and the boarding party climb aboard. It was frustrating she wanted to be there. She wanted to be the one to find him. She had to say sorry.

"X we have found him" dutchy radioed over after saying there was no one below decks.

Breathing a sigh of relief she smiled he was safe and alive. "is he okay" she called back

Her joy was short lived when the boarding party confirmed it wasnt mike but the mother of the baby he had saved the other day and worse news followed when she said her husband was the main man and he was taking the sub to deep water and going to sink it. Jumping from her seat she looked at the chart.

"RO they cant be to the south of us otherwise we would have picked them up on radar. So..." she was looking to see where they could be heading.

"yeah but most of this is unchartered" RO replied

"but they would be working on the same information as us and they wouldn't want to take it too far" her eyes were scaning the area

"umm here ma'am" he pointed to a small deep cove"

Kate radioed the details to dutchy who with the boarding party headed with Hammersley following slowly behind but before they could reach the sub a huge explosion rocked the ocean sending a huge wave in to the sky.

Standing on the bridge Kate watched it all unfold stepping back she reached out to the desk next to her to stop herself from falling. Her eyes were filled with fear and sorrow. He was dead there was no way even the man of steel could survive that explosion.

Fighting back the tears she radioed the RHIB who were doing a sweep of the area looking for him "Dutchy have you got anything?" she called

"Negative nothing yet X" his voice crackled back over. Then a few moments later the worst was confirmed there was evidence of human remains being in the wreck.

This was her worst nightmare. She had been acting CO of Hammersley before but she knew he was alive then but now she just wished she could rewind the past 48 hours and undo everything she had done and said. She hated that they had parted on a argument. And now she had to speak to commander white.

Sitting in his cabin felt strange she half expected him to walk in making a joke about her wanting him off the ship. She explained what was happening to Maxine holding back the urge to cry.

"Lieutenant McGregor you have a patrol to finish and a ship to bring in. You can do this"

"I don't know if I can" her voice was faltering#

"Mike thought you could. He added your name to my list of candidates for CO" Maxine spoke softly

"sorry" Kate was confused she shuffled the papers on his desk "he added my name?"

"he rejected my list and put yours right at the top. So if Mike Flynn thinks you are CO material then who are you or I to doubt that"

Dropping the phone she felt a emended pain throb through her. She had felt bad as it was for being in a mood with him but now it was worse. Hanging the phone back on the hook she sat on his rack thinking. Picking up his pillow she rested her head on the top. It still smelt of him. Burying her nose in the material she wished he was here breaking down she sobbed she couldn't do this. She needed him.

Walking on to the bridge the whole mood was sombre everyone was feeling the loss they were steaming flat out but it still would be several hours before they arrived home. Kate promised that they would get the man that murdered Mike if he was heading for Cairns then they would find him.

Picking up a yacht on the EOD they were happy to see it was Gorski's boat.

Calling boarding stations Kate ripped the binoculars from round her neck heading down to the boarding room to get herself kitted up.

"i'll take it X" charge called seeing her eyes were filled with something he had never seen in her before. Her bright eyes were now filled with hate and determination

"not this time charge" she replied

"Ma'am you cant.." he bagan

"stuff protocol charge" she cut him off "you have the ship" she wanted this. She wanted to look the man who had kill mike, Taken him from her in the eyes make him suffer as much as he made mike suffer.

Searching below she was taken by surprise by Groski who threw her on to the bed placing a gun to her temple. She looked at him daring him to do something. Reaching for her asp she pulled it from the holster smacking him in the face, kicking him to his knees. Pointing her gun at him she could feel the rage inside her building she wanted to kill him.

Swain walked down the steps seeing his XO the way she was he knew he had to talk her down before she did something she would regret and that would end her career.

"Kate put the gun down" he ordered softly Taking it from her he watched as Gorski was cuffed and lead up by 2-dads and Kate collapsing on the bed. Crouching before her "you okay?" he whispered he like most of the others had seen that Kate loved mike, it was the glances they gave each other when they thought no one was watching, they way they argued.

"I just need a minuet" she replied watching as he headed up before breaking down sobbing. Sobbing that mike was dead, sobbing for what she almost did. Killing Gorski wouldn't have brought mike back, it wouldn't have heeled her broken heart . all it would have done was make her no better than him. She was distracted by a banging coming from the adjoining cabin. Slowly she walked past to investigate in case it was a trap.

She found Mike laying on the bed bound and gaged and badly beaten. Over joyed she dashed round the bed sitting down she reached in to her pocket pulling out a multi-tool to cut the restraints "are you alright" she lifted his head removing the gag kissing him on the head

"I thought you were dead" she whispered through tears leaving down kissing him again but on the lips. She didn't care who saw she was over joyed he was alive.

"I am sorry. I love you" she whispered helping him to sit up. Holding her radio she called for swain to come down to look over mike before they headed back to the ship.

**so again this is mainly what happened in 4.16 but with a few bits added like Kates breakdown in mikes cabin as I wanted to show how kate was feeling and I don't think after hearing that mike added her name and wasnt saying she was the unsuitable one she would go straight on to the bridge. anyway enjoy and let me know what you think. CH3 will be original showing my idea of a aftermath leading in to season 5 **


	3. Chapter 3

Kate sat staring out to sea, the sun slowly disappearing below the horizon ahead setting skies and sea alight with reds and golds. The last 12 hours had been hell on earth and taken its toll on her. Yawning she tried desperately to keep her eyes open not wanting to sleep in case this was a dream and the truth was much worse.

Looking over Mike could see she was both physically and mentally exhausted, leaning forward "why don't you go get your head down" he smiled

Turning she looked up at him, "I am fine Sir" she whispered looking at her watch, she still had 2 hours left on her watch and didn't want to seem weak by not completing the watch

"I wasnt suggesting X. You look exhausted and can just about keep your eyes open" he squeezed her shoulder gently

"nothing a strong cup of coffee wont fix"

"Kate your no good to me if your sleep deprived, its a straight ride to Cairns. Go sleep now" he smiled

"fine" she yawned sliding from her seat "night then" she walked down the steps. Bleary eyed she headed to her cabin as if on auto pilot. Closing the door behind her she pulled her boots off dropping them under the desk. Sitting on the edge of her rack she plumped up her pillow lying down slowly she pulled the sheets around her. Not realising how tired she actually was she was asleep in minutes

Tossing and turning she walked through Groski's yacht, felt him sneak up behind her throwing her on to the bed a gun to her temple. She tried to wake not wanting to see everything over again. See where she went wrong, she saw the fight that unfolded and herself ready to end the mans life. She saw as she sat on the bed full of pain and grief. She walked in to the adjoining cabin expecting to see mike bound laying on the bed, dreams after all were a replay of the events you witnessed in the day. Instead the room was different. Her brow furrowed the whole cabin was like a giant movie theatre. Puzzled she looked around. The screen suddenly coming to life. The picture was dark with not much light in the scene. She could just make out two figures and voice she half recognised. She tried to look away not wanting to witness what ever horrors her brain was going to show but it was everywhere, it was all around her.

"no" she murmured "no" she turned this way and that trying to wake

The faces became clear and she saw mikes face as clear as day. He looked directly at the camera looking right at her. He turned to look in the direction of a loud beeping noise before looking back clearly aware of what was going to happen. His eyes filled with sorrow and pain.

"no" she screamed falling to the floor sobbing as the screen was filled with a bright white light and a loud bang echoed all around and the room faded to normal. Falling to the floor she pulled at her Kevlar vest and boarding jacket trying to relieve the pressure from around her chest. Her heart hurt and she couldn't breath. Gasping for air between sobs she saw Dutchy walking in lifting her up carrying her from the room.

Her eyes shot open she looked around sweat running down her forehead . She was in her cabin on Hammersley. Mike wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him, burying her face in his shoulder tears streaming down her cheeks and she was gripping on to his shirt like a spider monkey to their mother.

"Shhhh" he tried calm her. Looking at the door he had left open he saw bird standing there unsure of what she was seeing or where to look. Carefully loosing Kates arm from him he walked over. "Bird can you go and get swain for me.

With the loss of contact and warmth Kate pulled her knees up to her chest hugging them shaking with the fear of what she saw in her dreams

"is the X okay?" She asked. Worried for her superior and mentor

"she will be. Just go and get Swain please" mike smiled. He didn't really want Kates business broadcasted all over the ship and cairns. Not that Bird would be the start of those rumours.

"Yes Sir" bird hurried off towards the ward room

Closing the door softly mike moved slowly back towards Kate pulling the blanket from the top rack draping it around her shoulders as she was still shivering. Crouching down in front of her he brushed her matted hair out of her face wishing there was more he could do. Fear was the one thing she had to over come her self.

A knock at the door alerted them to a presence outside. Pushing herself back she wrapped her arms tighter around her legs. She didn't want anyone see like this. Swain opened the door Bird had given him a brief rushed rundown as to what had happened but he wasnt expecting what he saw shocked him. Kate had always seemed so strong and capable. Here she was looking vulnerable and broken.

Mike stood back and Swain crouched down in front of Kate

"Kate?" he said softly "nightmare?" he said

she nodded softly. Tears falling down her cheeks Her eyes drooping and she was fighting against it

"I'll give you something to help you sleep" he smiled softly

She shook her head. Going to sleep meant that the nightmares would return and she was petrified as what would manifested next.

"Kate it will be alright. You need sleep ma'am. The nightmare shouldn't return." He handed her a blister pack with one tablet in.

Reluctantly she popped it from the foil pack and swallowed it she was too exhausted to argue. Her brain craved sleep. Swallowing the little pill she hesitantly lay her head on the pillow hoping swain was right and the nightmares would stay away.

"thanks swain." Mike smiled walking to the door with swain

"sir do you want me to stay with her for a bit keep a eye on her" Swain asked

"its okay i'll do that" he smiled

"fine. Good night Sir"

"night Swain" mike smiled walking back over to her rack. Sitting on the floor he softly stroked her face with his finger watching as her eyes slowly closed the sleeping pill taking its affect.

"Mike" she whispered sleepily

"I am still here" he whispered

Looking at her she was curled up in a tight ball snoring softly. Leaning back against the leg of the desk he could feel the call of sleep taking its affects on him. He really should be heading to his own cabin but he would leave it a few minuets he wanted to be sure she was going to be okay.

Kate awoke the following morning, yawning she was pleased she had no more nightmares. She felt refreshed and her mind was clear. Pushing her self up she saw mike leant against the leg of the desk asleep. Smiling she quietly slid from her rack and pulled on her uniform. Quietly she slid out of the door heading up to the galley making her self and mike a coffee.

"X" Bird called poking her head through the hatch before running round through the door.

"Bird everything alright?" Kate asked turning

"yes ma'am. I umm" she stumbled over her words. "I wanted to give you this" she handed her a small paper bag sealed with sticky tape. "I mean I got it for my mum for her birthday as she is in to all that hippy dippy stuff but after last night I thought it may make you feel better and I can get something from home" she gabbled

"okay" Kate smiled opening the package pulling out a blue dream catcher, there were 2 spider webs one was teal blue and the smaller one was a deep cobalt blue. "thank you" she smiled wrapping her arm around the young sailor. She could be so thoughtful.

"its a dream catcher. You hang it above your bed and it catches your dreams. The bad dreams go in to the webs and the nice happy dreams go in to the feathers" she smiled

"thank you" she smiled again. Picking up both mugs she headed back down to her cabin. Mike was still sat on the floor snoring. Placing both mugs on the table she walked round crouching down

"wakey , wakey sleeping beauty" she whispered in to his ear.

He awoke with a start looking round to get his bearings he only closed his eyes for 5 minuets to rest them. "hey" he brushed the sleep from his eyes

"morning" she smiled sipping her coffee

"have I been..." he asked taking pushing him self in to the chair by the desk

"I guess" she smiled handing him his coffee

"you feeling better?" he asked

"yeah. Much" she forced a smile

There was a awkward pause. " I should umm I should get up to the bridge. One of us should relieve dutchy" Mike stood walking towards the door. "we should be home by lunch time." He smiled

"great." She stood up watching him leave

As soon as the door shut she sat back on her rack hugging her pillow for comfort. The images from last night still scared on the back of her eyes. All she could see was mikes face before the sub blew. The cuts and bruises to his face a constant reminder that whilst he was in danger she dropped his calls. All she could think off is what if she hadn't have dropped his calls then she may have saved him from the horrors that were inflected on him.

"XO to the bridge XO to the bridge" RO's voice echoed over the pipes

Sighing she put her pillow back in its place. Looking in the mirror she brushed any sign of her being crying away. She had to be strong after all she had not been the one held hostage. Looking at her self she at least looked like she was okay and in a few hours she could hide at home and she could be with mike and find comfort in the ice cream in her freezer

**so I wanted to show some vulnerability with kate as I think she would really be hating her self because of what happened to mike (or that's what I could see especially in her eyes even if it wasnt seen ) hope you like it and let me know what you think xx **


	4. Chapter 4

Mike sat in the ships office finishing the reports he needed before heading to NAVCOM for a 'debrief' as Maxine called it although it sounded more like it would be a ear bashing as he had been stupid and reckless. Leaning back in his seat he read what he had written. He wanted to make sure it was right but also didn't put anyone in a bad light.

Walking in Kate watched as he looked at him as he added something in to the document. She was happy he was there and still on the ship

"am I needed at NAVCOM" she asked softly

"Kate!" he turned looking at her. He thought she had left the ship with the others. "commander white didn't say anything apart from wanting your report from, you know..." he paused not wanting to repeat it in case it upset her again.

"yeah" she paused. "I emailed it to her earlier"

"good." He smiled. Despite her earlier assurances that she was fine and alright her eyes were telling a different story. She looked exhausted and her eyes were full of sorrow ,pain and guilt. "well just go home then X get some rest" he smiled

"Fine" she feigned a smile. It suited her not having to go to NAVCOM she wasnt really in the mood to face anyone

Arriving home she dumped her bag in front of the washing machine to sort later. After changing in to a fluffy pyjama set she curled up on the sofa flicking through the channels on the telly she couldn't find anything she fancied watching she turned it off dropping the remote on the glass coffee table in front of the Sofa. Her eyes were feeling heavy and she was feeling tired all of a sudden. Resting her head on the arm of the sofa her eyes slowly drooped closed falling asleep in seconds.

She was woken by a knock at the door. Stretching the cricks from her neck, falling asleep on the arm of the sofa was never really a good idea. Pulling the door open she saw mike stood on the veranda.

"hey" she held the door open for him. "how did it go at NAVCOM?" she asked following him towards the kitchen.

"Maxine told me I was a Galah and reckless. Anyway I came to see how you were feeling" he smiled placing the carrier bag he was caring on the counter dropping his own sea bag in front of the counter.

"I told you I was fin..." she began but was distracted from the aroma coming from the bag. It smelt delicious and her stomach growled in agreement. Arguing she hadn't eaten since the previous evening.

"oh and I brought us a Chinese" he smiled pulling the containers from the bag. "I got chicken noodle soup or chicken and sweetcorn chowder you can choose for starters, then I got you crispy salt and chili chicken with egg fried rice and we have banana fritters for desert."

"yum you know the way to a girls heart Mike Flynn" she smiled pulling out plates and bowls from the cupboard.

Mike smiled back glad to see her smiling. It still wasnt her full bright smile she usually wore but it was getting there . "noodle soup or sweetcorn chowder" he asked holding the 2 containers.

"noodles please" she smiled as he poured the soups in to bowls

Carrying her plate over to the table she watched as mike tried to pick up his sticky Korean Barbeque chicken with his chopsticks dropping it down his uniform shirt smearing sauce all down it. Sniggering she tried not to laugh. Pushing her self away from the table she watched as he began rubbing the stain with a cloth.

"you'll make it worse" she grinned "give it here, I'll bung it in the machine, so the stain doesn't soak in and become a perement fixture"

"fine" he unbuttoned the shirt easing it off his arms throwing it at her.

As he did so she caught a glimpse of his ribs as he rummaged through his sea bag pulling out a t-shirt. His ribs and torso were covered in purple black bruises. Covering her mouth she stepped back horrified at what she saw#

" I..." she began before darting in to the bathroom her stomach rejecting her meal. Falling to the floor she leant against the bath shivering.

"Kate?" mike called walking in. Seeing on the floor he knelt next to her "oh Kate" he whispered wrapping his arm around her

"sorry" she whispered leaning in to him

"hey" he tried to comfort her

"I am so sorry" she continued to whisper

"your not allright are you?" he asked

"no" she shook her head tears beginning to fall

"so tell me whats really going on?" he whispered in to her head

"I just wish I hadn't rejected your calls or gotten mad. I hated myself when we couldn't find you I couldn't bear it if we had parted ways on a argument its just I was pissed because I saw the list in your cabin and you said all the people were useless and my name was at the top.."

"Kate" he sighed closing his eyes he felt stupid he should have explained things better but they were in the middle of everything. "you were never on the useless list"

"I know knocker explained everything. It still doesn't stop it from hurting though. If only I had answered your call..."

"then you could have gotten hurt aswell or worse" he pulled her close

"but your ribs its my fault." She sobbed

Lifting her face so she was looking right at him, right in to his eyes.

"it is not and never was your fault. Don't ever think like that" he bent down teasing her mouth in to a kiss. "now do you feel like pudding?" he smiled

She shook her head "I'm really tired" she yawned

Standing he gently pulled her to her feet lifting her in to his arms he winced slightly as he pulled his side, hiding it with a smile he carried her in to the bedroom. Placing her on the bed she curled up on her side. Quietly he headed to wards the door not wanting to disturb her.

"don't go" she whispered sitting bolt up right looking at him

"I am not going anywhere" he walked to the other side sliding in next to her.

Rolling over she snuggled in to his arm feeling warm and safe. She watched as he slowly fell asleep lying on his chest she listened to his slow breathing and the rhythmic sound of his heart beating. It hurt her deeply seeing the bruises. She wished she could undo everything. Eventually sleep eventually came. All be it disturbed.

Her dreams were vivid and all too real. This one she was looking down as hooded figures kicked and punched mike, each time he tried to get up , to escape he would get kicked in the ribs. She turned trying to look away she would just turn in to the images.

She woke with a start a shaft of light from the moon streaming in through the window. looking round sighing as her room came In to view around her the clock flashing 02:00 Looking over mike was still asleep next to her. Sliding back under the covers she wrapped her arm across his middle holding him hoping the closeness would chase the nightmares away.

Dozing back off she tried to block out all thoughts of what happened not thinking about when she awoke, instead of moonlight there was sunlight. Rolling over she felt the other side of the bed was empty. Sitting up with a start she looked around straining her ears trying to hear where mike had gone.

He walked in carrying a tray with 2 mugs of coffee and a plate.

"morning" he smiled sitting on the edge of the bed

Sigihing she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes "morning, whats all this?" she asked smiling breakfast in bed. He hadn't treated her to that since she was his student at HMAS Watson

"breakfast in bed although you may want to hurry up and eat because I have just had NAVCOM on the phone and..." he was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her phone "speak of the devils" he grinned taking a bite of the banana fritters he had reheated from last night

"Kate McGregor hello..." Kate listened to the orders through from NAVCOM Hammersley had been given notice for sea in 3 hours time. Hanging up her phone she turned to the plate in front of her "what is this?" she asked it smelt amazing

"left overs from last night" he smiled

"really what is it?" she smiled not believing. Even as a student she had never eaten left over takeaway for breakfast no matter how hungover she was.

"no really its the left over banana fritters as we didn't eat them for pud why not breakfast I mean its like doughnuts really isn't it"

"well I guess I can tick eat left overs for breakfast of a list of things to do before you graduate only its 10 years late" she grinned biting in to her fritters swooning as they tasted delicious and were just what she needed a sweet sticky hug from the inside out.

2 hours later she arrived at Hammersley. Mike walked up next to her smiling she turned as he approached. They had already decided not to turn up together especially so as not to set tongues wagging.

"X how you feeling?" he asked

"fine Sir"

"very good. After you" he smiled indicating for her to walk across the gangway first

Hamersley left on time and Kate sat on te bridge looking out to sea. She hoped that this patrol would be less eventful than the last and she would get over everything soon.

**so I really wanted to show Kates struggle with this and yes she still is going to have a mountain to climb. hope you like it and please let me know what you think **


	5. Chapter 5

Sitting on the bridge Kate staired at the radar screen looking for anything. They had been at sea for 3 days searching for a missing yacht last seen leaving Cairns 3 days before they were crash sailed heading in a northerly direction but hadn't contacted anyone, onboard were several teens. The yacht belonged to one of the missing's parents and he hadn't permission to take it out They had been steaming north and were currently searching the Torres straits and the islands.

"contact bearing 2-8-0 stationary ,range 6 miles"

"got it on EOD boss" Dutchy called zooming in

Kate span in her seat to look at the computer screen "Sir it is the pint size" she smiled

"good work, X call boarding stations and see whats going on"

"yes Sir" she smiled "Hands to boarding stations Hands to boarding Stations Hands to boarding stations"

The RHIB bounced across the waves towards the yacht. It was huge and bigger than anyone was expecting

"Kinda ironic its called pint sized when she is bloody huge" dutchy called looking at Kate, "more like gallon sized" he grinned

Climbing aboard it looked deserted and no sign of life.

"Bird 2-dads and Bomber check the wheel house, swain and dutchy with me. Just watch your step and keep your eyes open you don't know whats up there"

"Ma'am" the called heading towards the wheel house

Heading inside something didn't look right. It was odd, the boat had been reported stolen.

"X-ray 82 this is Charlie 82. Sit-rep X" Mikes voice came crackling over the radio

"Sir no sigins of life above deck Sir, something doesn't seem right its way too tidy" she radioed back

"and that's a bad thing" mike chuckled

"well I don't know it just doesn't feel right Sir. Heading below to search now"

"copy that X be careful" mikes voice crackled back

"Sir" she called turning to dutchy. "dutchy" she indicated to the steps down to the lower decks of the yacht

The saloon in the lower deck showed signs of a serious party and there were cups and bottles all over the floor and suspicious looking liquids in random puddles

"team Alpha proceed below to search cabins down here and watch your step there is I don't know what on this floor"

"copy that X" Bombers voice came back

They found the missing occupants in the cabins in a drink and more than likely drug filled slumber. All were none too happy to be woken, especially as Kate had used a air horn she had found discarded on the side. After putting the teens in austere they escorted the yacht back to cairns to hand the teens over to the police.

Kate sat in the office they were almost in cairns and Kate was finishing her report before heading to NAVCOM with mike to hand over. Dutchy walked in turning on his heal when he saw Kate

"Dutchy what is it" she called stopping him in his tracks

"its fine ma'am doent matter"

"Dylan wait, please" she pushed her self up from her seat heading to the door "I hate how things have become awkward between us again. You just avoid me. I would hate it if our friendship had been ruined by recent events" she looked at him

"its fine" he paused , "anyway I best get on have some things to sort out before we dock. But you going for a drink later"

"maybe" she smiled "I have to go to NAVCOM but I may come along later"

Once they were back in cairns they all headed off to the pub as they usually did. Sitting on a table on her own Kate nursed her glass. She was waiting for mike.

"the boss not joining you" Dutchy walked passed sitting down next to her

"no, Knocker wanted to talk to him about Hammersley's replacement. Where are the others anyway thought they would be here?" Kate asked

"2-dads and charge headed off to play poker, swain wanted to see sally and Chloe, Bomber went off with some guy. Bird headed home after one drink and well you know what RO is like so"

"yeah" Kate grinned "and your here on your own" she asked

"well I hadn't finished my drink. Do you want another" he indicated to Kates glass almost empty

Looking at her phone, mike had said he would text if Maxine let him out at a decent time otherwise he would call the following day, as he hadn't text yet Kate looked up "why not" she smiled handing him her glass "white wine please"

He returned a few minuets later with 2 glasses "here you go" he smiled handing Kate her glass.

"thanks" she smiled sipping her drink. "I am glad we can get past you know. I love you. like a sister loves a brother and I would hate to loose you as a friend " she rested her head on his shoulder

"well looks like we are stuck with each other aren't we" he smiled as she sat back up. "so you and the boss, " he grinned. the brother sister love stung he loved her in a different way but he wanted her to be happy and he could see her heart belonged to another. all he wanted was her to be happy

"yeah." She paused wondering what his point was.

"so what is it with you two, I mean we all can see the spark but your always arguing"

"yeah well I thought we were clear when he got promoted but he came back. Sometimes I think he loves the ship more"

"that's not true, anyway how long have you been hiding it" he grinned

"well when I was at Watsons bay he was my instructor on a navigation course and..." she began

"Kate McGregor you dark horse" he smiled

"well I had to get rid of my stupid nickname from ADFA some how" she sipped her wine

"what was that? "he asked

"you must be the only person in the navy who doesn't know it" she looked up "it was princess perfect" she hid her face as he laughed "don't laugh its not funny it really pissed me off that's all they would call me"

"sorry but that's good" he grinned

"well if you tell anyone about anything like this I will make your life hell. if you tell anyone then you best buy your self a decent toothbrush" she smiled with a evil glint

Several drinks later Kate looked at the discarded glasses "I best be off" she stood to leave

"yeah me too, I have duty watch in the morning. See you tomorrow X" he smiled

"yeah" Kate turned to walk away. Turning to look at him "Dutchy" she called

"yeah" he replied

"do they ever go away? The nightmares I mean. Your the only one that has see that sort of stuff and..."

"you keep seeing the explosion and cant save mike"

She nodded. "yeah" she whispered

"talk to him. It helps to talk to someone"

She nodded "okay thanks" she smiled it wasnt really the answer she was looking for.

Heading home she unlocked the door. It was unusual to come home to a quiet house the last few nights before they had sailed mike had been there but he said he would go back to his place. Looking round she couldn't stand it it was too quiet and the quiet hid the monsters she was to exhausted to fight. Turning back around she locked the door.

Standing out side his place she knocked the door hoping he was still up and not asleep. From inside she could hear the sound of footsteps walking towards the door and the lock turning

"Kate?" Mike blinked looking at her

"can I stay?" she asked "its too quiet at mine. I hate it when its quiet

Opening the door wide. she stepped in instantly she felt safe with him around. He on the other hand was worried she hadn't been her self since she watched him almost killed. He just hoped she could overcome the demons soon as he knew brass were interested in her for the promotion board and his replacement on Hammersley

**so this has taken a while I got distracted by I am a celeb (sorry but seeing brit celebs in the aussie jungle is funny #guiltypleasure) this also took a while as I was trying to figure out what happened but I think I am finally happy with this. The brother sister love is pinched from Love rosie (one of my fav films) hope you enjoy and let me know what you think **


	6. Chapter 6

.

Kate ducked under his arm walking in to his apartment. She turned slowly watching as he closed the door behind her.

"so whats going on really Kate?" he asked lifting his head eyes

She shook her head turning away as If she had miss understood the question

"Kate?" he asked again

Looking up she closed her eyes. "it was too quiet at mine" she whispered "I didn't want to be alone. The silence was deafening" she stepped forward closing the gap "so can I stay" she asked

Wrapping his arms around her shoulders he kissed her cheek pulling her close "of course you can" he whispered as she buried her face in to his shoulder. "do you want a drink?" he whispered

Shaking her head she pulled away slightly looking in to his steel blue eyes. She just wanted to be near him and she just wanted to sleep one night and not be haunted by what ever daemon had decided to make her life hell Slowly she felt his hand slide down her arm lifting her hand leading her towards the bedroom

Curling up under the covers she lay on the pillow staring at the wall there were dark shadowy figures dancing all around darting closer and closer. Closing her eyes she shifted position closer hoping she could block them out. Her dreams were filled with the explosion. She was sat alone in a little dingy moving with the current towards the semi-submerged submarine. She stuck her hand in the clear blue water paddling trying to move it faster but the sub kept moving out of her reach. Trying to wake herself up she could feel what was coming next. The sub exploded before her eyes. The sound ringing in her ears ,a ball of fire rising high in the sky , the heat coming over her, the acrid smell of everything burning and a huge wave of water shot high in the air falling over her. She awoke dripping with sweat gasping for air sitting bolt upright she looked around realising once again it was in her dreams and she was safe in mikes apartment.

The light next to her flicked on and he looked over even in the half light he could see the fear on her face her eyes filled with terror. Holding his arm out she scooted over resting her head on his chest wrapping her arms around him.

"whats wrong with me" she whispered angry at her self for being this way. It wasnt the worst thing she had witnessed in the navy, or that any of them witnessed. she had seen some horrors especially on deployment in the gulf in '03. Even on Hammersley she had seen some horrific things like when they found the missing divers washed up on the beach the previous year or when the escaped convict terrorised them on the flamingo bay, before hiding in a body bag and almost strangling her on Hammersley.

"nothing it was just a nightmare. Its gone now" he whispered running his fingers through her hair he gently brushed it aside stroking the back of her head. Leaning over he went to turn the lamp off.

"can we leave it on please" she whispered looking up at him the light reflecting on the tears glazed over her eyes

Closing his eyes "sure" he kissed her forehead. He hadn't had to have a night light on since he was a child. He watched as her eyes slowly drooped closed. He sighed recent events were clearly torturing her, he just whished he could take all the pain and fear away.

She awoke the following morning the sun just beginning to creep through the blinds. Looking over she could see mike still sleeping. Carefully she moved over lifting her self from the bed walking towards the en suite. As she stood he rolled over his arm hugging the empty space.

Turning the shower on she turned it right up to its hottest setting waited for the steam to fill the room before standing it under the running water. The water was bliss and Kate instantly felt more human with the water running down her back.

"hey" Mikes voice came from the door "there you are" he smiled

"I was just getting a shower. Care to join me" she grinned her eyes sparkling for the first time in days.

Sitting on the edge of the bed Kate ran her ran a brush through her damp hair getting the knots and tangles out. Mike stood watching from the bathroom. She seemed more relaxed but that could have been the shower more than getting the nightmares out of her system. Sitting on the bed behind her he gently took the brush from her hand running it through her hair brushing it to one side planting kisses down her bear shoulders. She leaned back in to him enjoying the sensation of his fingers running down her arms.

"why don't we get away for a few days. Hammersley is in port for the week and we could head down to mission beach, a nice hotel spend the day on the sand"

"that sounds amazing" she closed her eyes already imagining herself lounging on the warm sands.

"we could leave this afternoon be there in 2..." he began interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing. "well I guess the navy has other ideas" he sighed reaching for his mobile

Kate watched nervously as mike was talking to Maxine he was saying "yeah" a lot but she could only hear his side of the conversation before he walked in to the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

Pulling her jeans and top from the previous night on she knew she would have to get back to hers to get ready to sail it always was the way they were just getting somewhere and then the Navy would throw a spanner in the works. He returned 5 minuets later

Looking up "so when do we sail?" Kate asked

"we still have leave till next week so we can still make that getaway if you like." He smiled

"yeah lets just get out of here" she jumped off the bed walking towards him "maybe leave this here" she took his phone from him throwing it back on to the bed.

"as much as I would love to, we do need it just in case we still are on call" he smiled weekly

"mood killer" she sighed sitting back on the bed

"we still can have a nice relaxing time"

3 hours later Mike lead Kate up the path to a secluded apartment that opened out on to the beach. It was hidden and off the beaten track. The perfect hideaway to relax and enjoy their much needed shore leave.

"this is amazing" Kate gasped as she looked around. It was fairly basic but the views over towards Dunk island and the barrier reef were amazing and breath taking. "so what shall we do first" she looked at him eyes glinting with a idea of what she wanted to do

"well since you ask..." he grinned reading her eyes stepping forward he pushed her back towards the bed sliding the straps from her vest down her arm kissing her neck as he went.

**hope you enjoy and this is going to get a little worse as Kates nightmares are going to now show previous events that she experanced with the same dark twist. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think x **


	7. Chapter 7

Stretching out she Kate lay resting her head on his chest their legs intertwined. After spending a afternoon exploring the little shops on the parade and walking along beach. She was in bliss. Looking out the open doors she could see a storm brewing out at sea. Thick grey clouds were forming out on the reef. Lightning flashing breaking through the clouds and the thunder rumbling echoing round the reefs and cove.

Lying back she felt the weight shift on the bed and saw mike get up, wishing he hadn't moved at that moment she watched as he walked round to shut the doors blocking out the storm.

"Leave it" she called sitting her self up resting on her arm "I like watching storms"

"what" he turned to look at her

"I like watching storms" she smiled

"really?" he asked

"yeah I mean they are kind of beautiful you can feel the full force of mother nature. Apart from when you steer the ship through the eye of the storm as fast as her engines will allow" she grinned looking up at him.

"and whats that suppose to mean?" he walked back over to her smiling

"nothing. Its just you do like to..." she paused "rock the boat a little" she smiled

"is that right" he sat next to her. "well X are you questioning your commanding officers abilities?"

"maybe" she grinned coyly

"oh really well I guess we will have to do something about that then wont we" he knocked her elbow causing her to fall back against the pillow

"no" she giggled trying to push him away

Opening her eyes she found she was stood on the bridge of a ship. She recognised it instantly as the old Hammersley. Confused she watched as Rick Gallagher dragged Dr Morrel through the hatch and on to the bridge. He was gloating that there was no body guarding the port side and it was easy for him to sneak aboard. Pulling out her gun she aimed it right at him. He had made a fool of her using her to find out stuff no doubt. She watched as mike went for his gun. She knew this wasnt going to end well. The shot rang out however her mind had twisted everything instead of Gallagher falling to the ground mike collapsed. Firing her own gun at Gallagher she dropped her gun shuffling in agony because of her own wound along the floor trying to get to him. Pressing down on his wound her fingers were soon covered in thick bright red blood. She tried to wake but couldn't. she was frozen to the spot

"don't you dare" she whispered "don't leave me" she called "SWAIN" she called

He groaned in pain gripping on to life as his body shutdown. Pulling her closer to him she could feel his faltering breath against her cheek.

"I am sorry" he whispered hissing with pain his breaths raspy "I never meant to hurt you at Watsons bay"

"shhh" she whispered "save your strength" she tried not to cry. Keeping her hands on the wound she hoped swain would hurry up. She watched as the light drained from his eyes and the his eyes closed "Sir" she called. "Mike come on don't go to sleep". she whispered despite knowing it was too late.

She felt like she was falling and awoke landing with a bump. Looking around she realised she had fallen from the bed and everything was another dream The light flicked on and mike dashed round finding her leant against the wall hugging her knees

"Kate" he whispered kneeling down in front of her

Looking up she wrapped her arms round his neck. The earlier storm had made its way ashore and was right above them

Holding her close "what happened" he whispered knowing she had another nightmare but this one must have been bad he had felt her thrashing around trying to escape.

"Bright island" she whispered

"Bright island?" he repeated confused. That was over three years ago and long forgotten in his mind he couldn't recall anything bad happening apart from she gained a superficial wound on her arm.

She nodded silently looking at him. Rubbing his hand down her arm trying to comfort her he looked at the small puckered scar on her arm from where she was shot "what happened"

Closing her eyes she just wanted to erase it from her mind and not see it. "it all played out as it happened but when you went for Gallagher's gun it was you shot not him." Tears began falling down her cheeks "there was so much blood" she staired in to space "so much blood there was nothing I could do I tried"

Shifting position he sat next to her wrapping his arms around her trying to help but knowing he couldn't take the pain away.

"do I need to be worried that you keep imagining my death?" he asked

"what!" she pulled away looking up at him "do you think I want to see all this, do you think I enjoy seeing these horrors" she cried standing up "do you think I get kicks from seeing the people I love die right in front of me"

"Kate you know I didn't mean ..."

" it hurts so much each time I see and there is nothing I can do to stop it" she shouted at him "there is nothing I can do" she fell to the floor sobbing. A mix of sheer exhaustion fear and supressed rage finally bubbling to the surface.

Trying to wrap his arms round her she fought against him. Eventually conceding she gave in allowing him to hold her close her loud sobs subsiding in to silent cries.

The sun eventually rose and the skies were clear all signs of the storm vanished. Standing Kate stretched the cricks from her back. She had fallen asleep where she had sat. As she stood mike also jolted awake.

"Hey" he smiled twisting to loosen the knots in his back

"hey" she smiled weekly everything still raw in her mind. "coffee" she asked walking over to the expensive looking coffee machine in the room

"sure" he stood walking over to join her. "Kate..." he began

"I am fine" she smiled knowing he was going to say something about the nightmares.

"no your not Kate. You need to talk to someone about these dreams..."

"no. No. No" she called not wanting to listen

"Kate you need to talk to one of the Navy councillors" he repeated himself

"no! I am not talking to a shrink. Brass will find out and I will never get a command"

"you know that will never happen they cant say why you went. And if they do find out they wont hold it against you, we all need to talk to some one at some point. Your suffering with PTSD ..."

"no I am not a few nightmares doesn't mean I have PTSD"

"KATE! just talk to some one please PTSD is not a weakness" he hissed fuming at her stuboness to admit something was wrong

"I said no! mike its not going to happen" she called

"You need to talk to one of the councillors or I will have no choice" he sighed he didn't want to resort to this but it was the only way. "I will have to ground you. I cant have you on Hammersley if your sleep-deprived stressed out and scared every time we go to sea"

"mike please!" she begged "I need to be on Hammersley". She looked at him horrified that he was resorting to this.

"then please talk to some one." He closed his eyes. "you said how much these nightmares are hurting you. Well seeing you this destressed is hurting me because there is nothing I can do to take them away"

She looked at him she hadn't realised how much it was affecting him. "sorry" she whispered tears rolling down her cheek. "I will go and see someone" she sat down curling up on the bed.

"I just want you happy Kate" he sat next to her.

"I know its just I still feel like everything was my fault" she rested her head on his arm

"and I told you it wasnt"

"I know but, I was so angry and I had all these thoughts of what I wanted to happen to you. Falling off the dock or someone to hurt you like you hurt me but never this" she pulled back looking up at him.

"Kate you need to stop blaming yourself. If anything it is my fault I went off of my own free will, I guess I just wanted to catch these guys and prove to brass I was better at sea than stuck on land" he sighed

"I am sorry" she whispered "can we just stay here and forget everything for the moment" she smiled

"ooh, I think I may need another coffee" he grinned

"hey" she shoved him laughing "fine one coffee coming up" she smiled glad they were talking. walking over to the coffee machine her smile dropped. she hated this feeling but if she talked to some one about it then everything would come out and it could risk not only her career but his aswell and she would hate it if she damaged his career on top of everything else

**so hope you like it. I think Kate would be the sort of person to hide and not admit the truth at first by the way she was in 4:1 and the CT scan. anyway let me know what you think. x**


	8. Chapter 8

It had been 3 days since mike and Kate had escaped for a few days of uninterrupted bliss in Mission beach. Lying in bed Kate staired at the ceiling listening to the rain hammering down on the roof. It had been raining non stop for the last 2 days. It was actually quite a relaxing sound closing her eyes she whished she could get back to sleep. Looking over at the clock on the bedside table it was reading 05:30. Sighing knowing how much the navy was inbuilt in to her she wouldn't get back to sleep now it was far too late. Sliding from the bed she picked up her robe and tip-toed out as not to wake Mike.

After making a pot of coffee she stood holding her cup watching the raindrops dance and fall down the window pane. Nursing her cup she warmed her hands her mind on the day and praying it wouldn't be that bad.

"Morning" mike called walking in behind her

Turning she smiled "morning" she smiled filling a second cup with coffee handing it to him.

"thanks" he smiled "Couldn't sleep?" he asked

"not really, just got board of looking at the celling" she half smiled

Seeing where her mind was and she was nervous "it will be fine you know" he wrapped his arm around her.

"I know but I just hate talking about my fears with a complete stranger. They make me look weak" she sighed wrapping her arm around him

"your not weak, Kate. We all get scared. Do you want me to come with you?" he asked knowing moral support can help in situations like this.

"no!" she said a little too forcibly. Closing her eyes she backtracked her self "no thank you" she smiled "can you just be here when I get back"

"sure" he kissed the top of her head. "what time is your appointment?" he asked

"09:00" she looked over at the clock she had a few hours before she needed to be at the clinic "I'm going for a shower" she dumped her cup on the side heading towards the bathroom.

"do you want anything to eat?" he asked

Turning around she forced a smile "I don't think I can keep anything down" she turned heading in to the bathroom.

Standing outside the clinic, she took a deep breath and pushed her way in through the huge glass door. After following the directions on the floor plan for the building. After giving her name to the receptionist. Keeping her head down Kate took a seat in the bright and airy waiting room and just prayed no one recognised her or no one she new came in especially any one from the crew.

"Kate McGregor" a voice called from the other side of the room.

Looking up Kate walked over to the door

"Kate? My name is Victoria do you want to come this way" the owner of the voice called leading Kate down a long corridor and in to a large office type room with several different seating areas.

"take a seat where you feel most comfortable" Victoria smiled

Walking over to the sofa that was in the corner of the room by a huge window that over looked the ocean Kate sat down. Picking up the pillow next to her she pulled her knees up and rested her chin on the pillow

"so..." Victoria began

A hour later Kate walked out of the office feeling slightly better about things. She felt like the weight had been started to be lifted from her shoulders but she was also annoyed. The rain had thankfully stopped however there was still the promise of more in the dark clouds possible. Sitting in her car she took a moment to compose her self before heading back home. Pulling up on the drive she was pleased to see Mikes car still parked out front.

Smiling as she walked in and found him sitting on the deck "you know when I said be here when I come home I didn't mean literally" she walked out on to the deck.

"well I thought why save the bother of going back home and then wondering if you were back" he headed in to the kitchen and filled the kettle. "so how did it go?" he asked

"it was awful" she flopped on the sofa

Walking over he sat next to her putting his arm round her. "well it was the first session and these things can take time"

" yeah I no that" she sighed resting her head on his shoulder

"do you want to talk about it?" he asked

"not really. Its just She banned me from drinking coffee" she looked up at him

"well coffee is a stimulant and can cause sleep problems and..."

"yes well thank you DR google. Your a big help" she rolled her eyes slightly annoyed he was being a know-it-all

"don't be like that. It will be fine I am sure" he

"are you because I really need coffee in my life its how I get through the early watches"

"well it may do you some good, and if it stops the night terrors then all the better" he stood walking over to the kitchen as the kettle had come off the boil

"oh really" she folded her arms looking at him

"yes now. Cup of tea" he grinned dodging the pillow she launched at his head

"no. I want. No I need coffee" she sulked

"come on Kate if it helps for now then that's good and it may not be for long. Just try see if it helps"

"fine" she sulked "but if I cant drink coffee then nor can you. On or off the ship" she smiled

"ah well normally I would support you in what ever you are doing but on this occasion and for the sake of the navy then I think it best that I keep drinking coffee" he looked at her

"not fair" she pulled her bottom lip up glad that his phone was ringing pulling him from the battle she was loosing. After a few minuets he hung up turning to her "Crash sailed?" she asked

"yeah 2 hours for sea" he half smiled "I best get to the ship. I have to collect my things. See you onboard" he leaned in kissing her on the cheek

"yeah. Oh and Sir no coffee" she stuck her tongue

"we will see X we will see" he smiled pulling her front door open

Seeing mike leave she headed in to her bedroom pulling out the things she would need in her sea bag. No coffee. She had no idea how she would manage with out coffee on board she needed it to get through the early morning and late night watches. Heading back in to the main living area she checked to see if she had left anything behind. Heading in to the kitchen she looked through the fridge and shoved anything that would go off in the freezer. On the side she noticed a box of decaf tea. Smiling she picked it up, mike must have gotten them knowing what the councillor would say. Stuffing them in her bag she knew she would have to grin and bear it and hope the nightmares would stop.

**so hope you enjoy. before anyone asks I haven't included Kates therapy session because I couldn't think of what she may say. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think also the recommendation that Kate stops drinking coffee is because I read that coffee or more caffeine can really inhibit the brain and cause the nightmares in REM sleep. **


	9. Chapter 9

Kate sat in the officers mess looking over the operations plans. They had been at sea for the last 2 days both of which she had been with out a coffee fix and she was beginning to feel the affects of the lack of caffeine . Chucking her pen on the table in front of her, she couldn't concentrate she had a buzzing in her head her brain pleading for a caffeine fix. This cold turkey coffee detox was no where near fun.

"X?" Dutchy poked his head round the door "you okay" he asked walking in sitting opposite her.

"I will be if I can get rid of this stupid headache." She rolled her head back "I went to see the shrink. And she banned me from drinking coffee"

"and is the shrink alright" he grinned

"Shut up" she shoved him playfully smiling

"hey I am serious I know how much you like coffee"

"well yes she is fine but I am not. I need coffee" she cried

"so no coffee at all?" he questioned

"well she said normally it would be no caffeine after 4 pm but considering my life is less than scheduled the she said at all would probably be best"

"ouch so what is your poison?" dutchy grinned

"well lemon water, or this" she indicated to a mug that was in front of her with a liquid that was the colour of dishwater.

"nice" he pulled a face.

"tell me about it" Kate sighed grimacing as she took a sip

With the door to the office open they could here 2-dads larking around outside, talking loudly about how board he was Closing her eyes Kate could feel his voice going straight through her pounding her head which was a killer especially as she already has a hammer banging with the caffeine withdrawal. Clenching her fist she pushed her self away from the table

"LEADER!" she called watching as 2 dads shuffled over his mind on what he could have done wrong. "if you are short of something to do then I am sure the heads could do with a good scrub with a toothbrush"

"yeah I think I am okay Ma'am"

"dont be so impertinent leader or I can come up with a whole list of things that need cleaning before the end of forenoon" Kate snarled

"sorry ma'am" 2 dads stood up straighter

"well get lost and find something to do that isn't outside here"

"Yes ma'am" he dashed off towards the bridge

Kate walked back in to the mess flopping back in her seat.

"ouch that was harsh" dutchy grinned

"and what is that suppose to mean?" she snapped scowling

"nothing. Its just 2-dads, we all know what he is as annoying as hell but that was slightly uncalled for if I may say so"

"ugh" she dropped her head on the table "I need coffee" she cried

"well since you cant drink that I may suggest the next best thing?"

"what can possibly be better than coffee." She asked pausing her mind thinking of something "on second thoughts do I want to know?" she asked

"Kate McGregor you really are a dark horse nothing like that come with me" Dutchy grinned

He lead her across the passageway and in to the galley. "now were going to need this" he pulled the bottle of milk from the fridge "and this . this is from my secret stash so close your eyes" he grinned

Covering her eyes she peeked through her fingers as to what he was pulling out from the back of the cupboard before quickly covering them again as he turned around.

"okay here we are" he smiled as she pulled her hands away.

Looking at the green tin he had pulled from the cupboard "Milo!" she smiled," I remember that as a kid" she grinned "although I never had you down as a milo in the morning guy more coffee or a protein smoothie"

"well its my guilty pleasure. Not even bomber knows I have this stuff on board" he grinned jabbing open the foil cover on the tin.

She watched as he shovelled teaspoons of the powder in to a tall glass adding a little hot water mixing it in to a paste before topping the glass up with ice cold milk.

"and this is going to help how exactly?" Kate asked

"well you can have it hot or cold, it is chocolate and only the best drink ever invented" he turned to the fridge pulling out the can of whipped cream adding that to the top of the glass.

"did you ever grow up peter pan" Kate grinned taking the glass Grinning she shook her head. Picking up the glass taking a sip swooning as she felt the sweet malty chocolate drink go down her throat "god I forgot how good this was"

"well as we are only at sea for a few more days I guess I could share with you"

"thank you" she stood on tip-toe kissing duchy on his cheek

"XO report to the bridge XO to the bridge" Mikes voice came over the pipe. #

Walking up to the bridge carrying her glass slurping the milky drink

"Sir" she smiled

"ah X" Mike smiled "we have a suspect FFV and I need you to..." he turned to look at her "what are you drinking?" he asked

"oh just some chockie milk as I am not allowed coffee at the moment" she smiled

"how old are you" mike grinned. "anyway I need you to take a boarding party over and check it out."

"yes Sir" she leaned round picking up the tanoy "Hands to boarding stations Hands to boarding stations Hands to boarding stations" she announced

As she stepped down mike caught her arm "everything okay?" he whispered

"it is now I have this" she indicated to her milkshake "I best go" she whispered

"right. Extra plates I think we dont know what they are going to be like"

"yes sir" Kate smiled walking off the bridge

It wasnt until dinner when mike got to talk to Kate properly. After picking up a plate from bomber he followed her in to the officers mess.

"so where did you get the milo from?" he asked sitting down

"its a secret" she grinned

"I wont nick it Kate I never could stand the stuff. It had a odd taste after words" Mike shook his head remembering the taste

"how can you say that. Its only the best drink evet invented" Kate gasped shocked. It was a staple in most primary schools growing up. If you never had milo then people looked at you like you were strange

" I just never liked it I much preferred Nesquick myself much more chocolatier " he smiled

"I loved that as well" she grinned "Dutchy brought it onboard" she picked up glass full the same chocolaty milk drink sipping it.

"do I have to be worried that you are swapping one addiction for another?" he asked

"no its just I need something I can barely stay awake with out the coffee"

"it will take time to get use to it Kate but you can do It I know you can. And it seems to be working"

Looking at her watch she hadn't realised the time. "I best be off Sir I am on watch." She stood picking up her plate

"see you later then X" he smiled

Watching as she left cutting the coffee out had seemed to do some good she hadn't had a nightmare. Since cutting the coffee out but it was going to be a long hard road especially with how stubborn she could be but he had faith in her and he would go to the ends of the earth to support her.

**hope you like this. the facts about Milo I got off a Buzzfeed Oz video when it is on most of the buzzfeed snack swaps with aussie and -. anyway enjoy and let me know what you think**


	10. Chapter 10

Tripping over tree roots and branches littering the track Kate looked around. It took a moment to realise where she was or more when she was and that she was stuck inside a dream. She tried in vain to wake her self up her mind insistent she stay. Walking through the undergrowth they soon came across a abandoned camp. Fearing what her mind would twist the events in to she tried again in vane to wake up. Turning they followed a track parallel to the one they had just walked heading back to the ship when a noise alerted them that they weren't alone on the inlet. Heading in the direction they soon came across a clearing. Hiding in the undergrowth they watched the situation. Kate could see Pete, Hammersley's old Buffer before Dutchy holding a spade digging before the mercenary took the spade from him pushing him to his knees and letting off a shot.  
"no" Kate screamed as his lifeless body fell to the ground a second shot echoing around the trees  
Her eyes shot open gasping for air. She looked around and realised she was still on Hammersley and she was safe. Picking up her phone she looked at the time. It was not even midnight. Stuffing it back in its hiding place she stuffed her feet in to a pair of canvas pumps she kept by her rack for walking round the ship at night instead of putting her boots on.  
Leaving her cabin the ship was in darkness with only the red night light to guide the way. Walking through the corridors she stopped outside his cabin knocking softly she waited for him to open the door. As soon as he did she threw her arms around him looking for some kind of comfort  
Taken aback mike wrapped his arm around her leading her into the cabin. Even in the red lights he could see the fear in eyes as she sat on his rack  
"Kate?" he sat next to her as he did so she buried her face in his shoulder "oh Kate" he whispered in to her hair "do you want to talk about it?" he asked. It was hard but it was the best thing to do to get over everything.  
Looking up at him she shivered the midnight air cool on her bare shoulders tears rolling down her cheek "Buffer" she whispered "I us on that inlet when Wiseman had him almost executed but I saw him murdered we didn't get there in time" she whispered struggling to get the words out  
"oh Kate" he whispered stroking her hair. "when do you see the councillor next?" he asked looking down he realised she had fallen asleep on his arm. Gently sliding his arm out he slowly lay her down lifting her feet up sliding her shoes off. He pulled the blanket up tucking it in around her feet pulling it under her chin. Even in sleep she was still aware of everything kicking out she untucked the blanket and pulled her arm out before curling up holding a little corner of the sheet close.  
Sighing mike looked over at his chair that would become his bed for the night. Siting down he tried to get in to a position that he was comfortable he looked at her as she seemed to be in a peaceful sleep, he just wished he could stop all this horrors manifesting in her mind and stop the nightmares. He thought they had stopped she hadn't mentioned one since they came aboard 3 days ago. Leaning back he closed his eyes and tried too get some sleep.  
By morning Mike awoke with aches all down his back, sleeping in a swivel chair was not his best idea. Hearing a knock at his door he scooted overpulling it open  
"Dutchy what seems to be the problem?" he asked yawning  
"Sir I cant find the X, she is late for watch and I went to her cabin but she isn't..." he began before noticing Kate still asleep on the bosses rack. "I'll just, I'll be on the bridge" he stammered this was the second time he had seen them together in this sort of way and he was unsure of what to do. This could end one if not both of their careers if he spoke out.  
"Dylan, you and kate are close yes?" Mike asked stepping out closing the door behind him  
"yes" dutchy replied still nervous as what was happening  
"has she mentioned her nightmares to you?"  
"she said something and that she saw a shrink who banned her from coffee. Did she have one last night?" Dutchy asked  
"yes that's why she is in my rack. I slept on the chair which proberbly wasnt my best plan. I will send Kate up when she wakes but can you cover for the moment. If anyone asks we are talking about recent events okay"  
"Sir" Dutchy smiled what else could he do.  
Heading back in to his cabin he watched as Kate awoke with a start unsure of her surroundings or where she was.  
"Morning" Mike smiled  
"morning" she sat up looking down at her leggings and vest. "did I umm did I sleep in here?" she asked  
"yeah I thought it best to just leave you. I didn't want to wake you or have to guide you down the stairs" he smiled  
"okay. Umm if I was in your rack where did you sleep?" she asked knowing he wouldn't break the rules on the ship.  
"I sort of slept in the chair if you could call it sleep" he stretched out the knots in his back  
"really, you did that for me" she smiled stepping forward wrapping her arms round him holding him close. Catching sight of his watch "crap" she cursed "why didn't you tell me I should have been on watch a hour ago" she pulled open his door dashing to the steps leading down to her cabin.  
She walked on to the bridge 10 minuites late having changed in to her DPNU. "dutchy" she walked up behind him  
"everything alright. ma'am" he whispered knowing the truth he hated seeing her like this normally she was strong and fearless and stubborn  
"fine" she replied taking the binoculars off him  
"good news" mike walked on to the bridge behind them "we are heading home. X set course for cairns"  
"sir" she smiled this was unexpected they were suppose to be out for at least the next week what could mike have told NAVCOM to get them home sooner. She just hoped they didn't know about her nightmares because that's the last thing she wanted NAVCOM finding out especially as they were looking at her for a promotion and command of Hammersley

**so chapter 10 guys I am coming to the end of this I think I have a few more ideas planned and am hoping to finish by Christmas sorry about the format but it pasted over from word like this. anyway enjoy and let us know what you think. also dutchy doesn't think kate is weak by these nightmeres its more that normally she is strong willed and wont let anything bring her down **


	11. Chapter 11

They returned back in to base later that afternoon, Kate stood in her cabin stuffing things for shore in her sea bag.

"knock, Knock" Mike called standing in the doorway.

"sir" She turned facing him smiling "why have we been called back home?" she asked

"I dont know. Maxine didn't say anything so I guess I will find out when I get to NAVCOM. Any way I wanted to see how you were, I haven't had a chance to talk to you since this morning. You okay?" he smiled

"yeah" she nodded smiling "sorry you had to sleep in the chair" she whispered hanging her head

Stepping forward he picked up her hand, looking over his shoulder "well I think you will have to make it up to me later" he grinned eyes glinting

Looking up she looked in to his eyes trying to read his thoughts "what did you have in mind" she grinned rolling her tongue across her top lip

"I am sure we can think of something" he whispered

"see you later Sir" she whispered pulling her bag on her shoulder

Walking along the quay side she soon caught up with Duchy

"hey" she smiled

He turned "you okay, I heard you had another nightmare" he smiled

Closing her eyes she hated people knowing she was suffering from nightmares especially members of the crew but she knew dutchy was coming from a good place. "yeah I will be. They are getting less frequent and they are sort of stuff I have seen already just made a million times worse so..." she trailed off

"good, well good they are less frequent. You coming for a drink?" he asked

"I umm" she turned seeing Mike walking over the gangway towards them dressed in his whites.

It didn't go unnoticed by Dutchy. Lifting his bag back on his shoulder "another time?" he smiled

"yeah." She sighed "enjoy your shore leave" she forced a smile

"and you" he turned heading back up the quay towards the others who were waiting further up.

"I thought you had left already" Mike walked up behind her.

"I did only walk over the gangway 5 minuets ago Sir" she grinned "I was just talking to Dutchy. See you at mine" she grinned walking off

"see you later" he smiled over-taking her walking up the quay

Kate sat curled up on the sofa. Looking at the clock, she was waiting for mike, he had text when he had finished at NAVCOM saying he was done and was stopping for a pizza and then he would be over. Pulling her self up she walked in to the kitchen reaching for 2 glasses and a bottle of wine. Hearing a car pull up outside she headed to the door, pulling it open she smiled seeing mike walk up the path.

"Can I help you sir" she smiled coyly

"well I have just come from NAVCOM and I was in the area so I thought..." he stepped forward. "pizza?" he held the box out

"yummy" she smiled stepping to one side. "you know the way to a girls heart" taking the box she walked over to the sofa placing it on the coffee table she lifted the lid. "did you have to get pineapple on the pizza" she picked up a piece that overlapped on the one half

"its nice" he lifted a slice taking a big bite

"Mike Pineapple Does not belong on pizza. Its a crime against Italy" she grinned picking up her piece biting in to it.

Sitting on the sofa Kate lent back against mike "so what did knocker want" she asked

"oh it was just apparently Chinders and Broome have had issues with the new navigation software installed so we needed to be checked."

"so how long we in base for then?" Kate asked sitting up

"a week, if marine tech get their fingers out and sort the problem out, we cant sail with a dodgy navigation software, even with your skills" he smiled

"why were we even sent out. Chinders has been in port for the last month anyway. Lieutenant smith is the XO. He was actually moaning he wasnt at sea." Kate looked puzzled

"who knows but I also have some other news."

"what?" Kate asked

"Hammersley is due a full inspection from tech consoles to the propellers and steering and Maxine told me it would be in 4 months . she Hammersley that is will be in dock for 3 weeks so I thought this would be a perfect way to kill some time" he smiled pulling a glossy holiday brochure from the table.

"Tahiti, sounds amazing she smiled leafing through the book"

"yeah secluded beach front villa private beach, all inclusive"

"we should do it" kate smiled "I mean you should be back at NAVCOM then so nothing to stop us"

"no. Speaking of which you owe me for me sleeping on my chair when you took my rack" he grinned

"well do you have to cash in on that now" she grinned turning to face him

"yes" he whispered in to her ear

She shuddered as his warm breath tickled her neck giggling as he lifted her from the sofa carrying her towards the bedroom . as he lay her on the bed she wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer Deeping the kisses he was giving her. Despite her nightmares being about him or her friends coming to harm, some how she felt safe next to him like she could over come anything. He was the shield to her mind blocking her nightmares from manifesting through and showing their ugly heads

**so here is ch 11 hope you enjoy. and let me know what you think x**


	12. Chapter 12

Sitting on the deck Kate staired out at the water in front of her. The checks on Hammersley were taking longer than expected as no one could figure out what was causing the system error on the navigation systems or if it even had affected the ship. Leaning back in her seat she closed her eyes enjoying the cool breeze blowing up of the river and the warm spring sun beating down on her skin.

"hey" Mike called walking out behind her

"Hey" she smiled turning in her seat watching as he walked round sitting next to her placing his cap on the table." So what did Maxine what?" she asked. They had been planning to spend the day exploring the Crystal Cascades and Fairy Falls however Maxine had called and asked to meet mike and it was going to be a all day thing as they needed to get to the bottom of things with the error on several of the patrol boats.

"not much really just getting to the bottom of how the error was able to go unnoticed by so many." He filled a empty glass from the jug of iced tea Kate had on the table.

"So have they finally sorted Hammersley" she smiled

"Yeah. It was a simple issue and Hammersley wasnt even affected. Basically it was a bug with the maps so everything was the wrong way round. North was registering as south and east was west."

"so what have marine tech been doing with Hammersley for almost 2 weeks? It cant have taken that long to figure out something wasnt wrong, I mean I had been using the systems until we were recalled ." Kate looked up

"who knows but we sail tomorrow" he smiled

"what time?" Kate asked

"12:00 and I also have other news"

"what?" she asked

"well Maxine said she had posted your name for the promotions board and brass are considering you for promotion and command of Hammersley"

"really" a smiled grew across her face. "do you know who else has been put forward?"

"no I have never heard of any of the other candidates, but I am sure you will be fine. I know you can do it"

"thanks. So what are we going to do with our last few hours before we have to go back to being professional"

"well we could go for a bite to eat and then see" he smiled

Later Kate slid in to bed next to mike smiling she rested her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep.

_Opening her eyes Kate stood at the door looking out she could see Mike running round after a little girl of about 5 with blond hair trailing behind her. The little girl changed direction running towards the open door. _

_"__mummy" she sang "can I have a ice cream daddy says I have to ask you otherwise he will be in trouble" the looked up and Kate could see she had mikes steel blue eyes. _

_"__go on then" Kate smiled how could she say no to that sweet innocent looking face. _

_Mike walked over wrapping Kate in to a hug. "I thought the rule was no ice cream before dinner" he grinned. "so that's well and truly spoilt Kaylee's dinner hasn't it" _

_"__yes but how could I say no. Besides its baking and too hot to eat proper food." _

_"__speaking of which how are you and the baby" Mike asked _

_Looking down she realised she was pregnant and not far from full term. "fine apart from its way too hot, this little one clearly has navy watches in his blood as he is awake and moving at random times and currently using my bladder as a trampoline so just excuse me" she dashed inside. The house was dark and cool. There were pictures hanging on the wall, pictures of Kaylee as a baby, a wedding photo of her and mike and one with all the Hammersley crew. _

_Returning in to the main living room she sat on the sofa pulling her feet up resting a cold towel she had brought out with her on her ankles. Walking over mike handed her a huge glass of water and lifted her feet up resting them on his lap. Kaylee ran in climbing on to join her parents. _

_"__Kate" Mike smiled _

_"__yeah" she looked up from the book Kaylee was showing her_

_"__I love you" he smiled looking at them both. _

_Kate rolled over smiling at the visions she was seeing. There was light at the end of the tunnel. It may be a dream but she hoped it was a vision of the future. A future she and mike would hopefully share. Knowing that he was always going to be there for her helped and she knew they could over come anything. Snuggling down she felt Mikes arm wrap around her waist and pull her in. She was confident that she had fought the nightmares and was winning. The power of I. Love. You. Was enough to make her believe that she could do anything and win. Especially coming form mikes lips. _

**so this the end and I hope you enjoyed it. so a few notes. Kates dream is a unspecified amount of time in the future. the daughters name Kaylee is a variant of my own and I got a card which says it is a aboriginal word for a boomerang in 1832 (something is leading me to oz lol ) I possibly wont post a new fic till after xmas although you never know :D. if I dont then I hope you all have a super Christmas filled with happiness and joy. to my readers in Australia stay safe in the heat and I hope it gets bearable in the uk its raining so no white Christmas for us :(. anyway hope you enjoy and let me know what you think xx **


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